{Wordless Wednesday - Stairs}

The next fun activity in The Babe's journey called life is...STAIRS!!! I think it is so funny how she doesn't crawl up on her knees, but uses the bottom of her foot to climb to the next stair. It is kind of interesting!

{Monday Minute - After-Life Edition}

Okay, so my *pick me, pick me, pick me* didn't work out so well last week...so I must be doing something wrong in the eyes of the luck gods...hopefully I'll have better juju this week!! In any case, co-hosting Monday Minute this week is Jana from http://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com/.

- Has anyone you've known personally lived to at least 100?
Alas, none of my personal contacts have lived to - or past - 100...though, my parents and I believe that my grandmother - my father's mother - will outlive everyone in the family...even The Babe...she hasn't been to the doctor a day in her life and think everything is wrong with her...yet she is still kicking...redic!!

- What material possession do you value the most?
I definitely value our house the most...it holds a lot of great things within the walls - and keeps a lot of bad things out! I am very blessed to be where I am today.

- What do you think happens to us after we die?
I am hoping that we are reunited with our family and friends from this life. Otherwise, what would we have to look forward to??

- Most embarrassing item in your house?
My parents made me a series of DVDs one Christmas which hold every. single. dance recital, singing contest, Christmas pageant, school play and sporting event on them...yeah...they're DEF hidden away!

and finally...

- If you could rename yourself, what would your name be?
I'm not really sure...I really like the name Penelope - and The Man does not, so I know we'll never be able to name our daughter that...I think being called Penny would be fun - I kinda look like a Penny (not in a worn out copper kind of way, either!)

{Wordless Wednesday - Father's Day 2010}

I am so happy that The Babe was able to participate in Father's Day this year!! Last year she was only able to give suggestions from my tummy...but this year she got to paint Daddy's gift box!!

She wanted the purple paint brush!

It took a little convincing to get her to put her hands in the paint...

Ok...so maybe I had to FORCE her to do it! What kid doesn't like paint?!?!

She was PISSED!

Really, though, she just wanted to play with the OFF! bug fan...

Bath time for this messy Babe!

...and her beautiful finished box was awesome!!

Lesson #107 - Lunch Is Never JUST Lunch

So, I have been unemployed since April 20th...and as much as I hated working with my thankless, fat, lazy excuse for a boss...I sure did enjoy seeing a few of my co-workers on a daily basis. My one FAVORITE co-workers - The Diva - is someone whom I wrote about a few lessons back (here). Her and I got along better than most co-workers do. She and her husband came to my wedding...I have met her daughter...and we were able to just bullshit about anything under the sun.

The day I was fired, I left in a bit of a rush...mostly because I just wanted to get the HELL out of that place! In my haste, I forgot to pack up my wireless keyboard and mouse - which comes with me to each of my jobs...some people have a certain painting they hang - and I take my own keyboard...deal with it!

Moving on...The Diva and I have been trying to plan a lunch outing for quite some time. Part of the reason being I really wanted to get my keyboard back, but the other part being I wanted to be "in the know" on the office gossip now that I don't work there anymore. Not that The Diva ever kept anything from me - except for knowing I was going to be fired the day before I was fired - but now I could really know the dirt. The Diva also wanted to see The Babe, because it had been quite a few months since she'd seen her last.

So last week I packed up The Babe and headed to my old office. We planned it in such a way so that we wouldn't have to run into any of the bosses - we could enjoy ourselves at lunch - and I could get my keyboard back. The Babe and I picked up The Diva and we headed out to lunch...we enjoyed great food, even better conversation and even better company!! It was so great to see her and catch up on the goings-on of her life and the office. From what I understand, there is one other person about to get fired and two more looking to quit in the next few months - which should be FABULOUS!!! I love watching companies fall apart under the rein of horrible leadership!

An hour later we were heading back towards the office to drop off The Diva. I pulled The Babe out of the car so we could go inside to retrieve my keyboard.

Have you ever been caught by your mom doing something you really knew better than to get caught doing?? Yeah...this was one of those moments!!

As we walked in the door...wouldn't you know it...the Queen Bitch herself was right there on the other side of the door. She made nice, of course, and talked to The Babe...I guess it means something that she pretended to care. She went her way and I ran down the stairs to The Diva's office to get my keyboard. I had the prize in my hand and was making my way back up the stairs when suddenly...DUN, DUN, DUN...my (ex) thankless, fat lazy excuse for a boss comes walking towards me. I avoided eye contact and headed for the door. As The Diva and I were saying our goodbyes, he opened the door for me - probably to get to leave that much quicker. I was in mid-sentence when - SLAM - the door was shut and I was cut-off from my parting conversation.

I'm not going to lie...it made me want to scream!! I wasn't there to see him...I wasn't there to beg for my job back...I wasn't even there to burn the place down (though the thought has crossed my mind a time or two)...I just wanted to say hello to a few old co-workers and eat some lunch with one. Is that really so much to ask?!?!

To you - (ex) thankless, fat, lazy excuse for a boss...I am glad that you are still making $90k a year...I am even more glad that the only way you are able to make that much is by kissing the ass of a woman who has no soul...but, honestly, the ONE thing that makes me SO happy is the fact that I know - deep down - that you're gay...even if you haven't come out and said it to anyone yet...even if you don't even know it yourself - know that I know...and it makes me giggle to know that you are the way you are because you haven't (ever) been laid - nor will you (ever) get laid - especially not with your piss poor attitude!! So, you can pour yourself into your job - and by pour yourself into your job, I mean watch your stupid, fat, lazy cat on your web cam all day long and PRETEND to do work - but that will never make you truly happy...even if you're getting paid $90k to do it!! You will always be miserable!!

{Monday Minute - Taboo Edition}

I am telling you...Monday didn't used to be one of my favorite days...but I am LOVING these questions. Sometimes snarky - Sometimes disgusting - Always entertaining!!!! Soooooooo, link up and YOU TOO could be a co-host one week!!! This week's co-host can be found here - http://www.notyouraverageteen.com/ - as for next week...PICK ME, PICK ME, PICK ME!!!!!

...and HERE. WE. GO!!!!

- Have you ever had any feelings towards one of your teachers back in the day?
Um...no...not even in the least!! Most of my teachers have fit the typical "teacher" stereotype...so that is a definite no!!

- What's the most embarrassing thing that happened while at work? (If you never worked then make something up)
Let's see...I have been working for quite a number of years (up until just recently) - since I could drive - so there have been MANY embarrassing things which have happened. The most embarrassing, I must say, would have to be

- When was the last time you crapped yourself?
Oh jeez...in college.Yeah, this was a good one. My sophomore year I shared a suite - which was such an awesome living situation. I had a roommate - who I hated - so I would always cross through the bathroom into my suite-mates' room and hang with them. One night I ventured over and this super cute guy was chilling with them...I recognized him as being from one of the fraternities on campus. So, this guy and I were chatting it up when he started tickling me...I shifted the wrong way and...SHIT...LITERALLY!!! I politely excused myself, took a shower and changed my clothes. It must have seemed REALLY odd, but I explained that I had to keep myself on a set schedule or else I can't handle it - which is only partly true. That super cute guy ended up being my future ex-borefriend...oh the irony!!

- What is one thing you have always kept a secret and why have you kept this a secret for so long?
My biggest secret is that I have cheated on every single one of my significant others - until I met my husband. I have only been in long-term relationships...I can't stand the short-lived crap...those just aren't worth my time! My first "real" borefriend was in high school - and lasted thru a bit of college - we were together for a little over 4 years. After him was my next future ex-borefriend (see above) and we were together for five years. Then my husband and I had our whirlwind romance...and we will have been together for two years in September.

- What's your best advice for us habitual coffee drinkers as to not have to poop right after drinking it?
Hmmmm...I don't drink coffee, so I really can't say...so I went to The Man for his "expert" opinion:
"I drink a lot of coffee first thing when I wake up...then take a HUGE shit to get everything out of my system. Usually I don't have to poop - because of coffee consumption - for the rest of the day after that...so I guess it just waits until the next morning because it knows THAT is exodus.

{Wordless Wednesday - The Babe}

I have - for your viewing pleasure - pictures of The Babe...she has decided to begin her blogging career early...be on the lookout for her newest venture - Desperate in Diapers: One Baby's Struggle To Be Understood...should be a hit!!

If only she would focus a little bit more and not just run away when she gets writers' block!!

PSA - Our Mommyhood

** Please pause for a VERY important Public Service Announcement **

Okay...I am a horrible person...I COMPLETELY missed my most recent Our Mommyhood post on Saturday. What can I say - we were at the pool!! Anyways, want to read all about what I'm planning for The Babe's "First Birthday Extravaganza"?!?! Head on over to Our Mommyhood and see which road will be taken...does The Babe get a pony - or just a cake?!?!

** End Public Service Announcement **

Lesson #106 - Spandex Are A Privilage...Not A Right

It is with an altered sense of fashion and a heavy heart that I write this post!

By altered sense of fashion, I mean that I am not like 90% of the mommies in my area. Apparently, having children and then getting nipped and tucked - so you can still dress like your children when they reach those awkward teenage years - is a logical series of events.

I, however, understand that I have pushed a bowling ball-sized human out of a place that, naturally, is only meant to fit a hot dog - at most. I also understand that the chances of my hips fitting into my size 2 jeans again are slim to none! It was a hard realization to come to...but all I have to do is take one look at The Babe - or sono pictures of The Wee One - and know that the changes are totally worth it.

Can someone, then, please tell me WHY some mommies feel it is necessary to still wear spandex and tight tops after having children?!?! I don't care if you've had 1 baby or 4 or 12...I also don't care if they were natural or c-sections...in the end, you are a MOTHER now!! Set an example, for goodness sake!

I truly wish I could have gotten a picture to add to this post...it really would have just made your night - I promise!! Instead, though, let me take you though a visual journey in your mind...now, I know it would be difficult for you to close your eyes and keep reading...so I guess you have to keep your eyes open. Maybe, for my next story like this, I will try to do a vlog (without showing myself, of course)...but for now, this will have to do!

Earlier in the week, I packed up The Babe and we set off for the mall. This isn't just any mall, but one of the biggest in the nation - in terms of number of stores and pure sales volume (I used to work there, which is the only reason why I know this) - so I know I'm always in for some sort of entertainment when I go to this specific mall. The Babe is finally getting to the point where she likes to explore and crawl like a maniac (when her teeth aren't causing issues), so the kiddie play place is the perfect solution! I can sit and watch her interact with other tykes, but still be close enough to come to the rescue if necessary.

So there we are at the play place and The Babe is crawling up a storm. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spot a younger mommy - like myself - with her double-wide stroller and two toddlers coming towards me. She parks her stroller in the corral, as best she could, and lets the demon children off their leashes into the play area.

It really wasn't her demon children I was worried about - who looked about 3 and 4 - but HER who I couldn't believe!! Her boys were dressed to the nine's...I mean, cute polo shirts with khakis and little boat shoes...they were SUPER cute! Mommy, on the other hand, looked a mess...she was wearing a tiny shirt that kind of showed her belly, a pair of flip-flops and...WAIT FOR IT...SPANDEX!!!!!!

Of course, being the nosy person that I am, I just HAD to hear her "story" to see what made her think she was privileged enough to wear spandex on the lower half of her...so I made a new friend. We went through the usual of complimenting each others' kids, asking their ages and how labor went (don't ask, but it works every. single. time)...and from there, I begin to dig! I ask if she and her hubs were planning on any additional faces to their brood - to which she kind of smiled. She said her hubs wanted more, but that she felt done with having babies. I was really trying to figure out how old she was more than anything...then she just started to spill (SWEET)!!

Spandex Momma proceeds to tell me that baby #1 was a surprise...their first daughter - now 13 - is really no longer a baby anymore. She says that, at 25, her and her husband were shocked and scared about being parents (I can say, with certainty, that I feel her pain...finding out about The Babe at 24 was a little more than a shock)...but now I'm able to figure out her age - which is around 38 or 39. SM goes on to say that her first set of twins - now 9 - and her second set of twins demon children - now 3 - had put her over the top.

At this point, I wanted to shake the bitch and scream in her face!!! Why, after having FIVE children, does she think that spandex are such a great idea?!?! ESPECIALLY since she said she never had a c-section...YIKES!!!!!!!!! Her poor vag has been through more than an army soldier - and you don't seem THEM in spandex, either, now do you?!?!

It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut...which is why this story made it to my blog :) Hopefully it will shed some light on some of you who - quite possibly - feel it necessary to wear spandex out in public in your 20's, 30's, 40's or beyond. You may have a smokin' body...but there are better ways to show it off while still maintaining a good example as a mother!

{Monday Minute - Daily Dribbles Edition}

- What's the specs of the first computer you owned?
Oh good grief...I don't remember the exact specs...but I do remember that it ran on DOS and lord how I hated typing in all those "/" just to get to my game of frogger!! I also remember that the machine was HUGE - took up more than a desk-worth of space...but frogger was worth it!

- Are you on Twitter/Facebook/etc, if so link it/them up
I am, indeed, on Twitter...and can be found @lessonslrndblog

- Who's more to blame for the oil mess in the gulf - BP or the Gov't and why?
For the LOVE...my answer to this question can go a number of ways...instead of telling all - I will leave you with this...IF we keep blaming the government for things like - lack of oversight - on oil drilling, then they will want more and more control over EVERYTHING else (like health care - for example)...and then where will it end?!?! Can you say, democracy?!?! BP did the damn drilling...BP was supposed to have the details in order...BP had a gazillion experts give opinions...BP didn't have an emergency plan in place. Enough said!

- What's your favorite Dr. Suess book?
I have to say that the classic "green eggs and ham" is my ultimate favorite...either that or "one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish"...they are all really great though!

And finally...

- What did you want to be when you grew up?
Hmmm...let me see if I can remember that far back!! In pre-school I wanted to be a mommy (my mom was and continues to be my hero)...then, in elementary school, I wanted to be a teacher (thanks to my second and third grade teachers)...in high school I wanted to be a doctor - until I realized how much biology was involved...and, finally, in college I wanted to be a psychologist - hence my degree choice. Looks like pre-school minds aren't as far off as we believe!

{Wordless Wednesday - Family Time}

I figured I'd put in pictures form the past two weekends...since I'm a WEEEEEEE bit behind :) The first three are from our Memorial Day festivities...we went to my parents' place and went boating/crabbing/relaxing! It was GREAT!!

The Babe loves her new police car floatie!! Watch out world - OFFICER BABE IS ON THE JOB!


You can kinda see muh baby bump in this one!


Hello Blogtopia...thanks for stopping by!!!



This past weekend we all went to visit The Man's side of the family for his cousin's graduation party. The Babe had a great time playing with her cousin, Cool Guy.

The Babe fell on her bum and Cool Guy was trying to help her up. They are exactly 11 months apart...too cute together!


Cool Guy, you look like you have a bit of plaque right there...let me take a closer look!


Really...I'm serious...just a quick look and I can confirm the plaque!

{Monday Minute - Kid Edition}

- What's your favorite book/story?
The Babe loves reading all sorts of books...I'm not talking War and Peace or anything, but she is a huge fan of listening to me read. She tries to help me turn the pages, but they end up ripping...oh well!!

- What do you want to do when you grow up?
The Babe thoroughly enjoys putting her fingers into mouths...be it her own or a complete stranger!! The Man and I are hoping that means she is going to be a dentist...I guess we shall see :)

- What is your favorite game?
The favorite game around these parts consists of knocking everything off of the coffee table then watching The Man and I picking everything up...and knocking it off again...oh the fun!!

- What's your favorite food?
Cheerios are definitely the resounding favorite right now...but The Babe also loves strawberries, cucumbers, bananas, chicken nuggets, watermelon, ham, cantaloupe, rice, honeydew and the fail safe - soy formula! She is one healthy baby!!!

- Insert your own question to ask your kid
I've always loved asking kids questions like, "Who is God?" and "Where is the sun?"...their answers are always so interesting!